I know it’s been quiet around here. I’ve been writing, a lot, actually, but none of it was quite right. I attended my first back-to-school night as a single mom this week and my oldest son’s 6th grade teacher was addressing the parents about how if it were up to him, he wouldn’t use grades at all. “Learning is a journey,” he said. “It does not end in a year.” It’s true, you know, it never stops.
I wrote a note to a friend this week and I didn’t send it. In it I said “I love you, I trust you, I believe in you.” I ended up telling this person those things on a different platform, because I believe deeply in saying those words if you feel them, and it was better that I didn’t send that note. But it got me thinking. I am very quick to hand out love, trust, and belief to my soul family, but sometimes I struggle with handing it to myself. I’m getting better. I’m learning to sit with it. Being compassionate and giving grace is something I do easily for others; I’m slowly learning the importance of doing it for myself.
I am learning that if you can stop and wait and love yourself deeply through those times, God or the universe or whatever you choose to call it will present an answer for you. The whisper of those women was my answer that night. Waiting is perhaps the very hardest thing for me to do. It is not in my nature to be patient. I have received a multitude of signs this past week that have told me I just need to wait. I’ve thought long and hard about trying to push these anxieties on other people, but for some reason, I’ve waited. Somehow I know I need to help myself. Sometimes other people can’t help us. Sometimes if we try to force them to it will make it worse. Sometimes their souls can’t take it. Sometimes we just have to slow down, listen, and love ourselves through it. So today, tell yourself, “I love you, I trust you, I believe in you.” And mean it. The whispers are there if you listen.